March 15th, 2017
Currently I am not working. However, in two months I will be. I am extremely excited to get back to work. At the same time, I have some sadness. I put my every free moment into this project. And while of course, I want to get better, I also want to see everyone struggling with these horrible diseases get better. I almost see this project as my job that I am not getting paid for, and yet I’m ok with that, and don’t want anything to take away from that. This is where self-care comes in. I cannot save the world. I cannot fix any of this. I can do my part and I can continue to do it with the fire that drives me to do it. As stated in my story, I have a conditioned mind to want to help everyone and feel deep sadness if I cannot. A lesson in detachment and self-care and a reality check. As I am writing this I am asking myself, “Is this some sort of God complex you have going on?” And the true answer is no. I truly care about people and life and all that life has to offer that much, that I want all of us to be able to enjoy thoroughly our time here on earth. I just need to realize I cannot take on the world. I will always do my part, and I will continue this fight with humility. As long as it takes.